Congratulations to you on your blogoversary! I think book bloggers are an essential part of this business, and I think that’s happened because so many intelligent and talented readers and reviewers have chosen to be heard through their blogs. Thank you for what you do and I wish you many more years of success!
Now—for my crazy idea. I want to put Emer and Saffron in a room together and toss out reader comments and questions!
AMY: Hey guys. We get a bunch of reader mail—did you know that?
(Emer & Saffron look at Amy like she has nine heads. Emer looks especially cranky and seems to be whittling a stick with a small sharp knife. Never a good sign.)
AMY: So, I wanted to bounce some stuff off you, and see what you think. First off, I get a lot of compliments about how the two of you alternate your stories throughout the book, but I have heard also that some people don’t understand if you are the same person or two different people. Do you have an answer for them?
SAFFRON: I’m a whole person all by myself, thanks. And I’m a lot smarter than Emer was. She was too ruled by her ugly childhood and her temper. I’m calmer and have over three hundred years of experience.
EMER: (picking teeth with recently whittled stick.) She’s a coward. Wouldn’t stand up to a fly. You can’t swashbuckle with yer brains.
AMY: Saffron, which experiences taught you more, do you think? Your dog lives or your time as Emer?
SAFFRON: I don’t know. I think both taught me a lot. It took me over a hundred years as a dog to see where Emer went wrong, and to understand how. I mean, there she was, with everything she ever wanted, and she blew it. By the time I was born, I knew that humans were too focused on money and material things to see the important things they live with every day. Their families. Their loves.
EMER: Here! I knew well what love was worth! And what fool headed cow would say such a thing to me about family? You try my life and report back.
SAFFRON: If you knew, then why didn’t you cancel the whole Spanish fleet plan?
EMER: (in mocking tone) Why didn’t you cancel the Spanish fleet plan? For the love of all holy things, Saffron, yer not as smart as you claim to be. Could I have canceled it? What would my crew have thought? And what of their hard work and dedication? It wasn’t all about me, you know. It was about them.
AMY: Okay—new subject. Saffron, some readers are appalled by your inner thoughts and feel you are a homicidal maniac. What do you think about that?
SAFFRON: I think people who think that must be very out of touch with their own brains. (Not to mention sarcasm and metaphor.) Everyone has unspeakable thoughts. Everyone. Anyone who says they don’t, is lying. Seriously. Some humans are so freaking judgmental, I want to scream.
EMER: I’m having unspeakable thoughts right now.
AMY: So, it doesn’t bother you that people think you’re homicidal, Saffron?
AMY: Emer, I’ve had several readers complain that I told the truth about what happened to you. Are you sorry you allowed me to do that?
EMER: I wager most people hate the truth. So, if you tell it, you’ll always get a complaint. Tis the nature of yer business, King. You’re thick skinned same as I am. We got this way by facing the truth. Let the lily livered go and wallow. I’m not ashamed of what others did to me! Why should I take the burden of Cromwell on me own back? Or the others?
SAFFRON: They say the truth will set you free.
EMER: (rolls eyes) Sounds like modern rot to me…but the girl has a point. The acts done to me were done to millions. Still are—whether it’s the act of one man or many. Being quiet about it never got us further. Have we cured it yet? Well, then. Quit yer bitchin and lend a hand.
AMY: Another one for you, Emer. I get complaints about how violent you are.
EMER: Did they not know I’m a pirate?
AMY: No, they know.
EMER: So—are they drunk, then?
SAFFRON: I can’t figure that out, either, Amy. Seems to me most people used to know that pirates are violent murderers, for the most part. Maybe they thought because Emer was female, that she’d be nicer?
EMER: Watch yer tongue!
EMER: You know what. Just because yer so smart doesn’t mean I won’t slice you.
SAFFRON: (shrugs) I don’t get you, Emer. I was just stating the obvious.
EMER: Just don’t badmouth yer own kind, girl. We have to stick together. And don’t be telling me that in modern times things got brighter for the (mocks) females. Yer still as disrespected as I was. Only in a different way.
AMY: Ladies, why do you think whenever I get you in the same room, you’re at odds? You’d think you’d have a lot in common.
SAFFRON: She scares me.
EMER: She bores me.
(Emer begins to whittle a second stick while Saffron twiddles her hair and looks around uncomfortably.)
AMY: One last thing. Readers have asked if there will be a sequel. Some feel the ending was a cliffhanger. Any thoughts on that?
SAFFRON: Uh Amy—the ending wasn’t a cliffhanger.
AMY: I know. But some think it is.
SAFFRON: Huh. Not sure what to say. I’m pretty sure I know what happened in the end. Do a lot of people think this?
AMY: Not really. Just a few.
SAFFRON: Well, what do you think?
AMY: I don’t know. I guess I’m aware the book takes a minute to digest, so I know some readers aren’t used to that. I also think to get a good idea of the ending, you have to consider the entire book and the vibe of it. The tone. I think it’s pretty obvious from what’s there.
To go further—a book is just a series of dots. Every reader connects those dots in a different way depending on their own experience and their own needs. So, though many know that the ending is a happy one, a few need it to be spelled out completely. Anyway, I can’t see a sequel. I’m glad readers want more, but I’m afraid three hundred and sixty two years inside one book was quite enough!
EMER: You can’t please everyone. Yer job is to keep writing books. But not about us. Aye. I’m done.
SAFFRON: Yeah. Me too. I agree with Emer. Go and write stories about other people.
(Emer & Saffron nod, both obviously dying to get out of this interview. Emer is now chewing the tip off the sharpened stick and spitting the tiny bits of wood at Saffron.)
AMY: Ladies, please thank our hostess and wish her a happy blogoversary. Diana, thanks so much for having us!
SAFFRON: Yes! Thank you! And happy blogoversary!
EMER: To our fortunate proceedings and good success! Clear the decks for pleasant action!
Thank you Amy, Saffron, and Emer for being here with us today! We appreciate it very much! I look forward to
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You can read more about A.S. King and The Dust of 100 Dogs on her website or blog!